Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Going to Buy Sh*t

April 2, 2009

gardnerTake a big whiff. No that isn’t the feces pond that Artie experienced in Kandahar, in fact it is the exact opposite. Spring is in the air, and baseball is just about upon us. I have finished off three fantasy baseball drafts, and I am contemplating one more (<—Biggest Loser). Luckily for me, I will be experiencing actual baseball too. The season is starting up, and I need to buy some gear. If you aren’t from the northeast, you really don’t know about this jersey t-shirt thing. Growing up in San Diego, we never had something like this. The Padres weren’t going to spend money to license a t-shirt of Wally Joyner (damn he looks old). The fans didn’t care enough to buy it and the organization was so cheap that the players didn’t stay long enough to elicit any real fan appreciation (plus they didn’t win enough games). When getting to New York I saw these wonderful t-shirts that are like jerseys. You can buy most of the players. It is considered perfectly acceptable attire for any occasion. Not only do they have the jersey type shirts, but they also have creative ones that tend to center around sentiments of Buck Foston. Don’t worry, Sawks fans have the same shirts for Yankees to suck on.

There wasn’t one player that I really wanted drapped across my back when I jumped on the Yankee bandwagon. I liked Giambi, but I already had a BAMF Dirtbag’s jersey. Good thing too because he is long gone. I flirted with getting an A-Rod shirt because people were hating on him constantly, but then I realized that he is a Primma Donna, and now we are in the Post Madonna era I certainly can’t be supporting that behavior. Below I will drop some choice on you. I am going to run an unofficial poll to see which one I get. Here are the choices;

Joba Chamberlain-The guy is a stud. He has a sick 10.58 K/9 ratio as a starter, throws 100mph+ which makes that fire thing show up on the Fox radar gun, and he even has the power to postpone courts. If you can’t support this type of player, who can you support?

CC Sabathia-He is a big dude, costs a lot of money, and makes every fan of the Red Sox instantly hate him because he signed with the Yankees. He is a man that was well respected by the league and seen as a gamer for his efforts with perennial losers like the Indians and Brewers. Then, he was signed by the Yankees and everyone thinks his arm is going to fall off. If he was a Brewer people wouldn’t think this. Any man that gets this type of hatred is surely worth consideration.

Mark Teixeira-I didn’t care about him when he was on the Rangers, I didn’t think he was that good on the Braves, and he was not “clutch” in Anaheim (or Los Angeles or whatever). Now that he is a Yankee, he is probably the best 1b is the game, and worth every penny. I need to show my support for the team by supporting their financial decisions. Besides, how can you not like the guy that breaks the “i” before “e” rule twice in one name. That is impressive.


Brett Gardner-Granted, they don’t make it yet, but he is now the starting CF. He is the first centerfielder the Yankees have had in a while that didn’t cost a fortune or hold up trade talks for Johan Santana, so I am on board with the decision to start him. As a Yankee fan, we love our high priced free agents, but there is a certain soft spot in our heart for the home grown boys. Obviously, we love winners like Mo, Posada, and Jeter, but everyone has those shirts. We have the next coming of Shane Spencer here. The new guy that doesn’t appear to be that good, but is gonna get a lot of stuff done. I drafted him in my fantasy league, and I may need to show continued support by buying the jersey.

Now let the voting begin! I anticipating the vote will be tied at 0 for all of them, but I will check the comments to see all of the amazing comments that I am sure to get. These votes are going to sway my opinion on which jersey to wear, so take is seriously. Of course, there is the factor that I am going to new Yankee Stadium to sit in the new really ridiculously good looking suites on Saturday, so I am just going to go out now and by a Tex jersey. Thanks for the input though.


The Show: Post-season Award Alternative Endings (NL)

November 14, 2008

charlie-manuelBecause it’s fun to take the contrarian point of view, here are some alternate endings to the major awards that the MLB has paraded out the last couple of week. 

ROY: Sure Geovany Soto had this award locked up in May. Good thing voters ceased to observe any rookie play for the remainder of the season. Soto’s average steadily dropped for the entire summer, making a slight return in the final month of the season, due in large part to the rest between starts. So who do we think should have won? Jair Jurrjens. Jurrjens had 10 wins by the end of July. If we used the same measures that we did for Soto, his 2 month slump shouldn’t have cost him the award. He played in a division with such stalwarts as the Mets and eventual world champion Phillies. Jair finished with a 3.68 era, and that is after posting a 4+ era over the last two months. If the Braves can pull off the Peavy deal, they will be left with a starting 3 in the rotation that can match with any in the majors (Peavy, Smoltz, Jurrjens). Besides, his name is Jair. Also, pitchers are much more valuable than hitters. Just look at Cole Hamels.

Cy Young: Tim Lincecum was your winner. He didn’t lead the league in wins or ERA, which many claim to be overrated stats, but he did lead in strikeouts. WHooHoO! He also played in the paltry NL West, in which he only had to face many 1 time. Johan Santana should have been the winner. Perhaps the only reason that Omar Minaya should even be employed right now. They couldn’t have given up enough for the guy *cough* Brian Cashman *cough*. All Johan went on to do was not lose after June, and only once giving up more than 3 runs. Anyone that watched the Mets this season knew that was only about as much as he could have given up. If Johan should have one regret, it was that he ever let Jerry Manual take the ball from him. The Mets bullpen literally blew 5 wins for Johan, and the team failed to win 6 times when Johan gave up only one earned run. I think if you put 5 more wins on the plate for Johan, and even consider the effort that he gave in the last start of the season, he should have been the unanimous Cy Young award winner.

MoY: Lou Pinella managed to win with the most talented team in the NL. Good for him. Just in case he wasn’t a lock for it, the Cubbies went out to get Rich Harden. Pinella proved his managerial prowess by limiting Harden from injury for the remainder of the season. That deserves a major award, but not this one. Too bad his managing didn’t translate to the playoffs. Although these are “post” season awards, they do not factor in the “post-season.” No matter though because if they had, the rightful winner would have only excelled by even more. This award should have gone to Jerry Charlie Manuel. Yes the guy also won with talent, but at least he didn’t lose with it. *cough* Yankees *cough* Manuel managed to guide the Phillies to first in a tight NL East race again. He managed to do it without a starting rotation, sans Hamels. If that isn’t reason enough, have you seen this guy’s gut? I is amazing that he can even stand up. Although, the guy did look like a stud back in the day.

Credit where credit is due

November 14, 2008


Sure they lost. Sure they propelled the Jets to first in the division for the first time since 2001. Sure he looks like a gimmicky morning radio show host at a beauty pagent, but give the guy some credit. A man that is a career back-up has stepped into the NFL starting role on one of the best teams ever, and is performing adequetly. To say that Cassell did enough to win last night is an understatement. He was 30-51 for 400 yards, 3 TDs, no TOs, and threw a perfect game tying TD with 1 second left. Those are Graham Harrell-like numbers, who says you can’t run the spread offense in the NFL? It’s not like he doesn’t have the options. We aren’t talking about the Denver Broncos here. I know there are plenty of people out there who snuck on their fantasy football waiver wire to pick up Benjarvus Green-Ellis, and surely must have liked his 9 yards this week.

This is a team that lines up with no RBs, and it isn’t Tom Brady standing back there. You know he is going to pass, and somehow he tends to get the job done. He has one of the best deep threats in the league, and he can’t throw the deep ball, but he is hitting those underneath routes instead. Comandering a TD drive in a minute from his own 38. He is moving the chains, and can scramble on top of it. With the exception of the San Diego game, Cassell has given the Patriots a chance every game. He is by no means a replacement for Tom Brady, or for any starting QB for that matter, but I will admit he is doing a stellar job. Kudos to Bill Belichick for not rushing out to sign Daunte Cullpepper or Chris Simms. He won’t be winning the Super Bowl, dating world class super models, or winning MVP awards, but Matt Cassell is doing a fine job. Just like my fantasy football team, just make it to the playoffs, and anything can happen.

We are talking about a league where Rex Grossman took a team to the Super Bowl, anything can happen.

The best Olymiad story (that you haven’t heard)

August 26, 2008


On a side note, what is the deal with the word Olympiad? Why don’t they just call it the Olympics? Someone should tell NBC that they used the word incorrectly. Whatever you call it, this is the best story that you haven’t heard from the Olympics. Unless of course your uncle told it to you at a party this weekend, and you subsequently went on to google the story and noticed that there are many stories about the kid (including 2 identical ones in the LA Times). Regardless, I am going to tell you the tale of Olympic gold medalist Henry Cejudo…

Where it starts, in 1987 two illegal immigrants found their way to California and made a baby. One of these people decided to steal, take, and deal drugs. This landed him in prison, and ended his life before speaking with his aforementioned son over the last 15 years of his life. The other person decided to work her a$$ off and make a life for her four children. Yes, this life consisted of sleeping 4 boys to a bunk bed, but it was a life nonetheless. Nelly Rico moved her children away from her drug swindling father, from apartment to apartment, room to room, and with no money. They traversed California, New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado Springs.

The kids hardly had a house, hardly had a bed, and hardly had food, but their mother hardly didn’t work. Any job she could get her hands on, she would do. When she was able to scrounge a little extra, Nelly gave it to those less fortunate. Economically speaking, there weren’t many, but that didn’t matter. Nelly knew how to work hard, and so did her boys.

That work ethic drove Henry into a gym to practice wrestling. The boy had no equipment, no soccer mom to take him to and from, and no snacks from the “team mom”. Henry wrestled in jeans and barefoot. Wrestling wasn’t meant for jeans, but that didn’t matter. The kid worked hard, and he was a prodigy. He liked wrestling, but hated church. That didn’t sit well with his mother. She put the fear of God in the boy’s eyes. The only thing scarier than the wrath of God is a punishment from a mother.

What the school of hard knocks taught Henry was how to fight. Three brothers didn’t hurt either, at least not psychologically. Physically it hurt like hell. Henry won 4 state titles, in two different states, and was the youngest person ever to win a national championship. The first time he ever slept in his own bed was when he got to the Olympic training compound in Colorado Springs. Now all he had to do was win gold, and that is exactly what he did.

Henry won the gold in the 55 kg weight class, we have no idea how many pounds that is (around 120). He had to cut 10 pounds the day before the competition to do it, we have no idea how many kgs that is. Henry was the 31st ranked wrestler in the world at 122 lbs. 31 is a long way from 1. He also had to come from behind every match to do it, but that is just the way Henry likes it. He was like a fish out of water in Bejing, but his cheering section made him feel at home. They were so rowdy they almost got booted by the communist dictatorship. The only thing missing was mother Nelly. She didn’t make the trip because she gets so sick during his matches, or she had passport problems, or she hates flying, either way, it doesn’t matter. She wasn’t there in person, but she was more than there in spirit. Nelly had been relegated to listening to his matches on the radio, and having one of her sons translate the action. None of that mattered as Henry. He finally found home in Bejing when he laid out on the mat exhausted, draped in his native flag, and crying after achieving everything that he has ever fought for. When informed about his $60K bonus for winning he exclaimed, “I’m Rich.”

The Olympics were great. Debating about Michael Phelps is fun , by the way he is, sure Usain Bolt is flashy and interesting, Team USA reedeming, but stories like Henry are what need to be remembered. The hard working son of illegal immigrants goes on to make Olympic history. Now that is rich.

livebloging-all star drinking day

July 15, 2008

Today is the birthday of one member of awesomo and we are drinking our faces off.Awesomo is also attending the all star game and since you can watch it on tv we decided to liveblog our drinking instead.The plan is to drink in the city until we stumble into the game at 8. After the game or when we leave we are going to continue the drinking in hoboken.Will this plan work? WE hope yes or we may pass out on the path train.The first stop was Stout and we had two drinks a piece.We are now at Turtle Bay and its white trash tuesdays so it looks like PBR cans and some punch. Check back later for updates. Disclaimer we may not continue the liveblog. Next place is Opal which is about two inches away from Turtle Bay. Turtle Bay had the craziest bartender but our drinks were crazy cheap. Now after taking a red devil shot we are close to wasted. Wait we are already wasted so therefore we are going to continue because we are in for the long haul.

Et tu Brute? (A Jerry Manuel Story)

July 1, 2008

Pardon us while we use the metaphor of Willie Randolph and Julius Caesar, but these words may never ring more true than they do in the wake of the Willie Randolph firing. For all intents and metaphoric purposes Willie is the Manager, and thus the Emperor. One could not be considered a closer alley to a manager/emperor than his bench coach/spineless leech. Brutus was held in high regard by Julius Caesar and the city of Rome. Manuel was at least considered a teammate by Willie, and clearly Met management has a vote of confidence in the man. I suppose when it comes down to the actual stabbing in the back, one cannot help but point to Omar Minaya, who is cowardace personified, but that doesn’t mean that Manuel’s hands are clean, several dagger thrusts came from the one time bench coach. Messages were sent with more tact in the Godfather, than the manliness displayed by the beheading offered by the Mets and Omar in Anaheim. An in depth look at these transgressions is needed in order to truly understand the back stabbing that was performed by Jerry Manuel, and the Mets organization.

In order to understand the depth of this conspiracy, lets delve into Manuel’s actions, or lack their of. When Manuel was called to the forefront of Met upper management, he very quickly offered his keys to success, which include resting certain players, shuffling the lineup, and of course simplifying. Manuel is a man that is a little full of himself, clearly evident in this article where he feels that he is the Gandhi of baseball.

The article explains how Manuel is often heard, and typically makes his opinion’s known. Where was this fantastic insight over the waning months of Willie’s Met career? Manuel was noted by other coaches as not implementing key baseball strategies to key Met personnel. The only talking he would was to tell players of critical comments made by Willie, in closed door meetings with management, as part of player evaluation. Willie’s straight forward demeanor made him unpopular with several players including stars like Beltran and bums like Delgado. Manuel wasn’t only complaining to players, but also to management. The incessant whining from the supposed heir to the thrown is well documented through encounters with knife wielding VP of player development Tony Bernazard. Manuel’s other nugget of insight, over Willie’s last few days, was to give rest to some of the best players (Wright and Reyes). Granted they may be tired, but Willie’s job depended on their performance. Apparently, in the end that didn’t matter as Willie won 5 of his last 7. Met management blamed the New York media, team dissention, and a general feel of uncertainty among the players as reasons for Willie’s firing. This sounds like a group of men that are grasping for any excuse to fire the leader of an underachieving team. Some of the Metropolitans maybe be quick with the feet, but not quick on the wit, and dizzying comments from management surely didn’t help the situation. The Mets played a daily version of who’s line is it anyway?

Highly touted pitching coach Rick Peterson, the not so lucky version of Mark Antony, is also a listed casualty of the midnight massacre. Clearly, Billy Wagner blowing 3 straight save chances is Peterson’s fault. Wagner feels that a simplistic pitching approach offered by Dan Warthen is the answer. Who cares about stats or scouting reports? Those things are overrated anyway.

Here at Awesomo, we can only hope that the Mets suffer a similar fate to those famous Romans that stood on the steps of the Senate. People are often punished for their dastardly acts. Currently, the Mets sit at 1 game under .500, and they are headed by a coward, a snake, and an idiot. After all of this dissention, we can only muster one thought…Bring back Bobby V!

Boob tube time: Weekend edition

June 20, 2008

Alright, so it’s 4:30 on a Friday. We are physically at work, but couldn’t be further away from even thinking about work. People at work are asking if they can help me with anything, and all I think about is that hell no, you can’t help me write on my blog. Then I realize they are talking about work, and I sheepishly utter “no thanks.” There is a possibility that we will go to the movies tonight, and we can’t really think of anything worth seeing (Full Disclosure-we might see “Get Smart” hence the pic), but we will find something. For others, you might be at home, and in front of your giant plasma tv. If this is the case, here are some things for you to check out this weekend:

(My 9 7:00-10:00) Reds at Yankees-The Yankees are playing well, Volquez is pitching for the Reds, and JP Riccardi’s favorite player is suiting up.

(CBS 8:00-9:00) “Ghost Whisperer”-At least Jennifer Love Hewitt is on it.

(ESPN 7:00-10:00) College World Series-They were relegated to ESPN2 for World Series of Poker reruns, but tonight the college kids get the primetime spotlight.

(CSPAN 8:00-11:00) Tonight from Washington-We wanted to link to Court TV, but we don’t know what channel it is. CSPAN is practically the same thing. The only reason we wanted to put a “legal” related station is because we wanted to link to this story. We find it funny that Duke admits how horrible their football team is.

About this whole DH thing

June 17, 2008

The old schoolers hate it, fat guys love it, and fans could probably care less. Either way, the DH is back in the news. For those of you that don’t know, Chein-Ming Wang is out for a while. We have seen the replays several times, and have yet to realize how he actually hurt himself, damn snipers. One thing that we do know, if there was a DH, Wang would not have been in that situation.  Another thing that we know, there is one man that has an opinion. Everybody’s favorite Steinbrenner, Hammerin’ Hank, told the NY Post’s Kevin Kernan “It’s time the National League joins the 21st century, or is forced to join. The National League is playing the same way it did in the 1880s. That’s over with. The National League should have the designated hitter. There’s no question the National League should have it.”

Sure Hank is a blowhard. Sure he has picked fights with Red Sox nation, thrown stones at construction workers, had enough of Joe Torre, and has now waged war on the entire National League, but does he have a point?

We often hear about the AL shouldn’t have a DH. It isn’t “pure” baseball WAAAAAAA!!!! Hank has raised the contrarian’s point of view. The NL is the one that has it wrong. Pitchers in the AL hardly do anything athletic, and in the NL, well they usually just attempt a bunt, or typically strikeout. Micah Owings aside, pitchers should not be batting, let alone running the bases. Pitching is definitely difficult to do, but anyone that has been around the game knows that pitchers are a different breed. They are a little “different” from those regular ball players, and as such, they should have a little bit different circumstances. The DH is right for the game. Besides, the DH brought us Edgar Martinez. We owe the DH

Hank the Tank-Kevin Kernan (NY Post)

Hot Chicks and Clicks- Fightin Style

June 17, 2008

“One more minute, the beaches San Diego,One more minute,the beaches Mexico.One more minute, we kick it back poolside,One more minute, and we’re down by the Oceanside,One more minute, one more minute, one more minute!”By one more minute we mean what our brain would be chanting if engaging in relations with Rachel Bilson.Instead we have four long ass days of work. Those lyrics pertain nothing to Rachel Bilson but its Authority Zero so everyone needs to listen to them.


Be alarmed if your neighborhood kids are doing this

Wedding Brawl

Wii Fit is f’ing things up

Cramer says Wall Street is finished

MMA finally in NY?

Awesomo story

White Supremacists heart Obama

Wang is out

June 16, 2008

That’s what she said. Yes those jokes are lame, but we find them clever and awesomo. Unfortunately for the Yanks, the injury is not a joke. The AP reports that Chien-Ming Wang will be out for at least 6 weeks. In our medical opinion, which means nothing, a “partially torn tendon” is not a good thing. The sprained foot doesn’t help either. I guess everyone’s favorite clutch master will have to refrain from “wang” references for a while. This injury sparks a few debates;

1.) If pitchers can’t even run the bases, are they even athletes?

2.) What do the Yankees do next?

The first question is a rhetorical one, of course they are athletes. As for what the Yankees do next…Do they make a play for C.C., or any other top notch pitcher? We are definately of the opinion that they should not sign C.C. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? The Yankees can throw nothing but money at the man next year. Not sure of any other top notch pitcher the Yankees can grab, but I guess the young guns will really need to mature quickly. They also have some decent talent in the minors. In the end, a rest for a pitcher is never bad thing. See Curt Schilling for an example of a pitcher that apparently only works 1 month of the year. Hopefully Wang can recover in time to join the Yankees for their post season push. Hey, if he doesn’t get better, they still have Moose. Look for Hank to start criticizing the NL for not having a DH.